Girl to Girl: Signs He’s Not the One

Discover the unmistakable signs he’s not the one for you. Recognize the red flags and embark on a journey empowered to discover true love. 

Hey girl, grab your favorite snacks and cozy up ’cause it’s time for some real talk. We’re diving into the murky waters of relationships: the good, the bad, and the downright confusing. Dating these days is a whole different game than our parents ever knew.

As Gen Zers, we’re all about crafting those Insta-worthy connections, right? But hold up! Before you dive headfirst into anything, let’s talk about those little signals: The ones that either scream “go for it” or “run for the hills.”

Finding Mr. Right should start with a checklist of what you want in him. And guess what? There are tons of ways to scout potential crushes, whether it’s swiping through dating apps or scrolling social media. 

So, whether you’re already out there swiping left and right or just wanna know what to look for, buckle up ’cause your girl’s got your back with some real talk advice. Here’s the lowdown on some major red flags to watch out for when you’re on the hunt for your happily ever after. 

If He Wants You to Do the Chasing

Okay, bestie, listen up! If a dude makes you chase him after the first date, ditch him faster than yesterday’s TikTok trend. The right person will never put you in the chasing position. You might think the chase is necessary ’cause you like the guy and think he is shy, gentle, or quiet. But chasing him boosts his ego and proves your desperation, which can affect your future relationship.

Chasing after someone? Total cringe. It’s a fast track to a toxic mess. Men pursue women they appreciate and love. Let him be the first to text you, initiate the conversation, plan the date, pick you up, and pay for everything. Never chase a man for love if you want a happy relationship.

That doesn’t mean you can’t express your interest through texts or split the bill sometimes. But the enthusiasm with which a guy chases you is a clear indicator of how much he wants to be with you.

Lack of Respect 

Hold up, let’s talk about disrespect. It’s a major red flag, and your gut will probs catch it on the first date.

Ideally, you’ll immediately see some major yikes vibes, but some dudes try hard to play it cool. Here’s the thing: If he shows up late AF and doesn’t even apologize? Major turn-off! Same goes for being glued to his phone the whole time. Like, respect the vibe, right? A decent dude will be upfront about what he wants, treat you like a queen, and actually be down for something real.

Poor Communication

Okay, so communication is key, but some dudes be acting real sus when it comes to talking. Big red flag if your date shuts down any convo about feels, goals, or like, the future. We gotta spill the tea, you know? Deep chats build a fire relationship, not ghosting us on the real stuff.

A good catch will actually wanna listen and get on your level, not just give one-word replies. We need that emotional connection, ya feel? Basically, if bae ain’t down to chat real, it’s a major buzzkill.

Different Life Goals

Look, compatibility is a major dealbreaker. No point in wasting your precious time if your boo’s goals are, like, the opposite of yours. Imagine you wanna be a girl boss and travel the world, but your dude wants to settle down yesterday with a minivan? Major yikes. Those clashes will get old fast, trust.

Dating someone on the same page is key for a lit relationship in the long run. Like, I once dated this free spirit who wouldn’t commit to plans, and here I am craving chill vibes and movie nights. We were basically oil and water, ya know? Don’t be afraid to get real and ask if this is a forever thing or just a casual fling.

Lack of Trust 

Okay, so finding a bae with good vibes is key, but trust gotta be there, too. Trust, like, the whole foundation of a relationship, you know? Without it, it’s all shaky and sus. 

If your partner’s acting shady or lowkey lying, it’s a major red flag. You deserve someone who’s gonna keep it real and be honest, no cap.

Unwillingness to Compromise 

Listen, if your boo can’t meet you halfway, that’s a major red flag. No cap; constantly butting heads is a recipe for disaster. Imagine bae says horror movies are the best, but you’re all about rom-coms? Compromise means finding a scary-ish movie you can both enjoy, right?

A good partner meets you halfway, you feel? If bae acts like their way is the only way, it’s gonna be nothing but fights and bad vibes. No bueno for your mental health, sis. Compromise is basically the magic word for keeping things chill. You give a little, they give a little, and everyone wins!

Emotionally Unavailable 

Okay, so emotionally unavailable dudes are a major buzzkill. No deep talks, no cuddles, zero commitment? No thanks! Basically, they can’t catch feelings and keep things on the surface level. That means dead conversations and a total lack of trust, which is a recipe for disaster.

You deserve someone who’s emotionally invested, you know? Like someone who wants to get real and share all their feelings.

How Do You Know When It’s Working?

Okay, bestie, hold up! Let’s ditch the boring stuff and talk about the real signs your relationship is #relationshipgoals. We all know when it just feels right, but here are some lit signs you scored a relationship win:

  • Mutual respect
  • Open communication
  • Shared values and goals
  • Effort and support 

Stages of a Working Relationship 

Alright, let’s talk relationships; they’re like a rollercoaster ride, right? First comes the lightning bolt of attraction that sparks the first date. But here’s the real tea: He might just be the one if you’re vibing on the same level with interests, goals, values, and hobbies.

Next up? It’s all about building that connection. More dates mean more chances to dig deeper and see if he’s your Prince Charming. Look out for mutual respect, open convos, and having each other’s backs.

As things get serious, you’ll start sharing those future plans. If you’re both on the same page with trust, honesty, and those shared values? Boom, he might just be Mr. Right.

Taking things to the next level means locking it down. Think getting hitched or putting a ring on it; intimacy and affection are key here.

And finally, it’s all about growing together as partners. If you’re still cruising through life side by side, that’s when you know it’s the real deal. 

Hold Up, Don’t Get Ahead of Yourself!

So, that’s the tea! Every relationship is a whole vibe, so don’t get FOMO about what everyone else is posting. Trust your gut, spill the tea openly, and, above all, prioritize your happiness. You deserve a guy who hypes you up and makes you feel like the baddie you are.

And hey, if things don’t work out with this dude, there are plenty more fish in the sea (or should I say cute guys scrolling through dating apps!). Remember, a happy relationship is about finding someone who complements you, not completes you.


  • Krissie Apatow

    Krissie Apatow is a budding wordsmith, weaving stories that leave readers interested and eager for more. Armed with her pen and imagination, she's on a mission to craft narratives that spark thought and ignite imagination.

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